Ask me where I will be in five years and come up with an answer. Got it? Great. Now send me a personal message with that answer because I could use all of the help I can get. I graduate from Auburn in December 2015...a lump in my throat just developed as I was typing that. I have two more semesters until I am a graduate from college....no more school....ever. Okay ew. It looks worse every time I write it.
I don't want to graduate early. Mainly because I'll miss running into random fraternity houses dressed in banana suits while wearing roller-skates...also because I have no clue what my future holds. Annnnd now the lump in my throat is back.
I think now that it is 2015 it is finally hitting me. This is the year I graduate. Next year I will be done being a student and quite frankly, that scares the crap out of me. It makes me anxious. And the more I stress about it the more I have begun to realize how much of my joy and fulfillment I put in my future.
Will my job make me happy? Will it be that job that I have always wanted? Will I live at home in Birmingham or will I move to L.A.? Will I finally be discovered, become a famous actress making millions of dollars, buy a boat and move to Europe? All plausible options.
I seek to find my joy and fulfillment in what my future looks like. I seek to find my joy and fulfillment in the things of the world. It's no wonder I am left anxious and with stress zits.
I have this visual of God standing in front of me, waving his arms around. The entire time he is yelling, "HEY! Brianna! I am your joy! I am the only one who can calm your anxious heart! Stop stressing and come to me!" Meanwhile I am leaning to the left and the right of him, trying to see what the world has to offer.
Every day Christ is there, waving us down and wanting us to come to HIM. What a waste of time for us to think the things of the world will give us that peace we all so desperately desire. The moments I focus on HIM instead of where I will be in five years, are the moments my heart is calm.
I'm not saying I'm never going to stress about my future. I will. I'm human and I'm a girl so that combination sets me up for failure. However, my prayer is that when I am anxious about my future, I will be slapped in the face with the hard realization that I am in sin. Not trusting Christ is sin. Not laying my anxiety at the foot of the cross is sin. Plain and simple.
The world is kind of a screwed up place and when we start turning to it for our joy we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. The peace that the Lord gives is what we all so desperately crave.
2015 is going to be a year of trust. Let me rephrase that. 2015 is going to be a year of me constantly praying that I learn to trust. I am choosing this year to take advantage of the perfect peace Christ offers me daily. I am choosing to satisfy my craving with the only one who can, Christ.
"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from himself because there is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis
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